Hard to Please

I am such a picky person... Especially when it comes to letting people in my life. In the end though my happiness comes first. Don't get me wrong I want my friends to be happy but I'm not the type of person that is willing to make myself unhappy just to please another. I'm extremely strong willed and extremely stubborn. I don't ask for help often because I usually end up disappointed when I do. I put 100% into everything I do especially when I'm doing something for someone else. I would never want another to be disappointed in me. So when I do ask for help and an individual fails miserably my reliance on that person falters greatly.  I'm not an idiot and its an automatic defense mechanism to take a step back.

A friend of the family once told me that whoever I end up with for life is going to have to be one strong son of a bitch. I will openly admit I'm not an easy person to get along with.. I don't love or feel easily but when I do- its unstoppable! I like things the way that I like them- I'm not perfect but I am a perfectionist. I say what I mean and it is a huge pet peeve when someone tries to draw out alternative meanings that don't exist. If I meant something different then I would have said something different. I know I deserve someone amazing but when individuals don't see that in themselves and lack self confidence they create such a hard barrier around them without even realizing it. 

There are a lot of people in my life but in the end there is only one that is not replaceable and that's my mom. ( don't worry- I'm counting the furbabies as actual dogs this time around). I love my friends and wouldn't trade them for the world but if you don't want to be here anymore you don't have to be. I'm not fake... The people important to me know it.. And have no doubt in it!! I expect the same... And lately haven't felt much of it with a few exceptions. I will hold the door wide open for you... Just say the word!

And to clarify before speculation occurs... This is about multiple people! So if the show fits- wear it!

I know I can be a bitch and I know I'm hard to please- but I would

Much rather know exactly what I want and be able to vocalize it than be someone who gets walked all over and taken advantage of.